Metal Life

Schizophrenia: Reality against Illusions “Of course I’ll eat tonight, why won’t I? It’s YOUR turn to cook”, Mark replied. “But didn’t I prepare this morning?”, I was confused so whispered softly. “You’re getting old, aren’t you? Remember your aching back for why you denied?” I stared and thought, “Oh Yeah, it still hurts”. But why do I feel he was talking all falsely? Never mind, I’ll cook this time. 24 is not an age for being wearied, so tried. “Can’t you help me a little?”, I shouted after an hour in the kitchen. “Sorry, I’ll have to leave again this time. Want to see her all surprised” “Why don’t you ever bring her here? You always waste YOUR half of roasted chicken!” Mark took the keys to the car and promised to serve tomorrow some chicken fried. I agreed, for how could I even stop him? I smiled till I could see him through the door. I do love my brother but can’t explain why suddenly I panicked and cried. He left the house for a few hours, but why it ached like...

"Consciousness: What if it is a single conscious playing parallel. What if it is not the small part of the universe. What if it is the ultimate one, and the universe is an instance of it." If ever you rushed like this earth was fast splitting apart, If ever you rushed while your back still lied on a soft cushion; You may breeze in to me, for I too have run miles while I stood still. Can you trust me with your gun? As I offer to take you somewhere downhill. You wondered how well I know, when you haven’t even explained, But then I said I don’t. I just shot you down under the screams of a military drill. . Oh, those cries of pain and broken flesh, it felt like a midnight melody; I might shoot another leg of yours, if you crawl somewhere else for empathy. You don’t realize that you create, what all you run away from in fear, Never believed the Hill was haunted? Still kept this gun along all through the year. Hey! Lower your voice! I know you never wanted to cry o...

Here right here, I plummet on the edge of my intents, You see it is curving out of my track of cognition and sense. I’m not what you preach I ought to be, in ways humans wish to, You’ll fear as I let you discern, the unlike rush behind this fence. . Don’t know why but sure did I crave for lights to fade, when I wondered if some purpose exists inside my head. It showed a ladder hanging from clouds of happy and content, Don’t scream to see that ladder burn, I’ve lit it to the sky from my bed.   . I know you’d thought of climbing it up to the clouds, but your sanity hasn’t been quite a treat I’m blessed with.  Strained to believe in the delusion of fire and ashes, I’ve seen my thoughts surrendering to crisis and deathly myths. . No, but I believed in God, the truth and the meaning of life, Till you crushed my state of confidence and blamed the noble acts. ‘Seemingly inferior’ stated the mirror of truth on my existence, Why would I accept your world...

Well you’ll wonder why am I leaving, so early this dawn hasn’t befallen yet. No I don’t have any belongings to pack, I rather want to leave back everything else. . No I don’t own a piece of the bread you served,  Last night with such reluctance on your face. No I don’t feel like flying along with you, You knew I can’t swim in the oceans you gave. . Sure you wrapped your presents in those fancy bags, You knew I couldn’t ever keep an aggressive cat. Yet you served all its nine lives to my soul, Pretending you didn’t see me troubled with the one I have. . So when you’ll ask me to come back this night, No I don’t think I’ll refuse that to your face.  I’ll merely wave a bye, for no words I have, Don’t know if this is a content or emptiness I taste. . I’ll search for bridges too weak to hold my weight, Hoping the ropes shall break in between. For I don’t know if I want to reach the other end, Nor I know...

This world I live in, and this place that made me grow, Showed rainbows soaring heights I cannot see. The walls that held my roof of the infinite stars, kept standing strong, promising eternities for me. Just have been a weak soldier, barely holding my soul on these wrists. I’ve guided the foot of the rainbow, for its height makes me crave. The eyes are pouring blood, no more this body can hold, Heavier is getting the weight of my soul, still weaker the arm stays. This world I live in is too beautiful to embody a weak trash, That I find it better to jump down a trash bin. The walls have been showing strength all along to stand,  These trembling feet shall make me a victim of my own sins. If someday those stars start to fade and lights happen to axe in the middle, I know my eyes won’t see anymore, but swear that I won’t cry a little. Crawling down the dark lane in search of the lost rainbow, I happen to wonder that it h...

The world’s moving so fast, how these eyes can’t even catch a glimpse. The hands feel broken, but I wish I could somehow hold them in. I whisper and ask for a clarity amidst the spinning wheels, but those cold winds mocked, the moment I stopped being still. Something adheres the surface of my consciousness. Realizations of a far off dream that appeared to come close. That I keep failing to justify the purpose of me existing, To the little demons that keep feeding on my heart and soul. So when I find myself a dirt in this polished world, holding no strength in this survival of the fittest. I choose to seek sympathy in disguise of people’s acceptance, and I keep chanting for them, ‘This world is the prettiest!’ If pretty defines swiping the dirt off these grounds, I’ve got to play a solid stone so these winds won’t spit me out. But I know this heart I carry shall tear me apart in pieces, The moment some heartless words try to encircle me around. And in fear ...